Firsts and seconds and thirds, and so forth

As I listen to my newly turned 4 week old daughter scream in the next room, I am reminded of a virtue that I do not possess: patience.

It's inevitable that when telling someone what my career choice is (or was), one of the first comments was usually, "wow, you must have so much patience." I think Jay can attest to my extreme lack of it. I suppose sleep training, introducing new foods, disciplining, potty training, etc., all require(d) this amazing skill, and I put it out there when I need to, but I usually have to lock myself in the closet and scream once the "episode" is over, because I am boiling over with frustration.

So, as we progress through many "firsts" for Lily, they are seconds, or thirds, or fourths for us as parents. And my strength, resolution, and composure are tested daily, and even hourly.

Don't get me wrong--I love being a parent. I love staying home with my kids. I just want to shake them sometimes and yell "why don't you get it!?!?"

And every day, I see why parents are inconsistent, flighty, and constantly reinforcing bad behaviors. Hell, it's because WE are reinforced with letting our kids get away with murder in order to have 2 minutes of peace. But every time I consider going back on what I said, taking the easy route, not being "patient," I remember that although my life would be easier if I were to give in or give up, I do the hard job, in order to raise great kids.

So, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. As long as my closet continues to be big enough for me go into and scream at random intervals.